Author: Kelly Love

Bonding.

Harry Harlow Behavioral psychology

For the first time, ever, I was out for three days with a knee issue. It wouldn’t be the end of the world, except there has been a lot of change going on, and the students feel it. And it was the three days before a long weekend break (traditionally, this has been mid-winter break, but was cut short to two days –dang those cuts!)

Here’s what happened:

I was working the graveyard shift on my zombie watch, when, from out of no where, attack! The ghoul got the better of me….(this time, you undead living, or living undead, or whatever oxymoron-ic beast you are! Not getting my brains today!) And because students don’t like it when their beloved teacher is in pain, (cue hot tears streaming down face at the beginning of my fabulous lesson on annotating text), and the doctor ordered me to rest, so be it. (Zombie bites respond well to hefty doses of antibiotics and heat, just in case you were wondering what the treatment regime is for a zombie bite. I know you were going to ask, so now you don’t have to. You’re welcome.)

The epiphanic question: What must my new vice principal and principal think of me? Do they think I’m some slacker who just takes off whenever she feels like it? We are all still getting to know each other, and because of the sheer amount of whirlwinds, dust devils, flare ups, zephyrs, and typhoon changes going on (testing, scheduling, testing, more testing, scheduling, scheduling, etc.), there hasn’t been a lot of “getting to know you time…getting to know all about you..”

I have had four principals in five years. I have had three vice principals. We have had a few discipline/security officers come and go. None of the comings/goings are for negative reasons, in fact, they have been for good, positive, progressive growth reasons: promotions, higher supervisory roles, etc.

And in this time of transition, in an attempt to establish my cred, I inadvertently ended up sounding like a broken record : We did that. We have that. We created that. Rinse. Repeat. It’s not that the new admin cares or doesn’t care, but they understandably have their vision of the future, too.

I guess I just wish this: we all know how critical it is for us to bond with our students. They need to know they are safe with us, free to be themselves, make mistakes, and be human. It takes time and a bit of heart-worn-on-sleeve for good measure (I said heart, zombie, not brains!).

A colleague bravely said in a department meeting that she was already on survivor mode, and it’s only February. We pay attention to her: she is the consumate professional, with unflagging spirit.  If we’re hanging on to cloth and wire monkey moms, that can’t be good for any of us. I feel the deep desire to take a cleansing, healing breath for us all. And hear some real heartbeats.

What the doctor ordered: Play

I have had this hunch for some time: middle school should be run like summer camp, and now I have a very smart scientist who might back me up. Watch this TED talk about important work of  ‘play.” So while we’re testing, testing, testing our young charges, are we really putting on cat “smelling” collars on rats? Are we allowing this to happen to us adults? What are we doing in the name of “rigor” versus in the name of transformative, creative, growth of intelligence?

The day, (work, school, family, friends, creative time, etc.) is so much more enjoyable, and so much more learning happens, when we mentally play. Students take this activity by hostage: they doodle, they pass notes (yes, still) or use the technology given them to do anything but what’s in front of them. I’m not suggesting we serve brain candy instead of mental broccoli, I am suggesting that we have more hands-on, more projects, more time to enjoy the moment. “Life becomes infused….with…transformational kinds of play” — Stuart Brown

At the end of this presentation, I mentally checked out because the questioner/questions kind of missed the point. If you’ve been a human, and have ever felt that something was missing, lacking, or dull – you know exactly what Stuart Brown is saying: play, and all its manifestations, is who we are. Toy with that idea for awhile.

Fatal law.

We are the hero of our own story.
Mary McCarthy

Sometimes I seriously wonder what I am thinking. In our Journey of the Hero unit, I ask students to do a free write on their own ‘fatal flaws.’ Really? What fatal flaws could a 13 to 14 year old have? But boy, do I get a range. Everything from taking that epic skateboarding ramp a bit off, to the time when they betrayed a friend. The range is parallel to choices and life experiences they’ve had: in other words, happy kids=innocent mistakes; add a little more grit to their worlds=more emotion.

I’m not trying to dig out their hearts, I promise. They don’t have to share a thing, and may choose not to write. In terms of the writers’ workshop, this was not the prompt to launch the protocols, that’s for sure.

But keeping my sense of humor, I got an email from a student asking a clarifying question:

“What is the Fatal Laws assignment?”

Sounds about right.

Messy.

Bulldozer

My projector hasn’t worked well since I inherited this classroom. The irony of being ‘cutting edge’ with technology is that by the time the rest of a district gets the installation of the latest and greatest, the first-served’s technology is dated and tired. I’m not complaining, though; it’s just an observation. I have put in no less than five requests with our IT department. Earnest, young, geeky men (yes, it’s usually men), come into the room, look it over, observe the purple glow emanating on my screen, (my students think I design pink SmartNotebook lessons–!), and tell me it’s not working.

Yes, I know. (Did I wear my “I’m with Luddite” T-shirt today?)

The last young man to survey the issue (I think it needs to be replaced, but in lieu of that, at least a new bulb and some fresh cables), was rendered helpless by the sheer volume of STUFF I have. It may as well been a 30′ bramble wall, waiting to slice the young hero with its prickly thorns and cleaving vines. The sleeping beauty of wall plugs and jacks lay just beyond his reach over the thick curriculum notebooks, writing instructional materials, professional journals and books, and assessment booklets.

I am not a hoarder. I have no issues with trashing/recycling. Re-using, not so much. But having had to create curriculum from scratch, it occurred to me how loathe I am to chuck it. I have a file cabinet full, baskets, buckets, portable file cases, drawers – every storage space is used. What will I really be giving up if it just goes away? Am I afraid to lose my touch, my hold, with my own professional development, knowledge, and accomplishments?

Well, time to get up, get it clean, throw it out, and recycle what I can. Give myself permission to teach a lesson twice, three times, etc.; I guess the key is in the reflection and flexibility with students. I have never had the same entrenched year – and I don’t see that ever happening.

Bored? No. Inundated? Yes.

Neno.

My maternal grandmother’s birthday is today.

For her memorial service, I wrote a eulogy.

Through the fragile archiving of technology, I lost the Word file. All I had was the paper it was typed on, and I couldn’t locate it for years.

I found it today, in a photo album, while searching for a decent photograph of myself. In my pursuit of vanity, I found her, one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen.

Here is what I wrote, and read with tears:

Neno

Why is his skin so soggy?

I can’t speak another language. (Sometimes I wonder at my adroitness with English.)

Currently, I have a two students who are my teaching assistants during my planning time. Though this is not a full pretense, there is a subtext of who’s assisting whom. And once again, I am the benefactor.

The one student was sharing with me that she loves movies. I challenged her to find movies that were off the beaten path, movies that may have been foreign language award winners, or musicals, etc., from the past.  Long winding road – she discovered the trailer, all on her own, for Pan’s Labryinth. (No, she did not watch this, just the trailer; the movie is rated R).

Now, during our conversation, she tells me my Spanish is not so bad. (Is she joking? No, she’s being kind.) She had to coach me for five minutes on pronouncing La Llorana correctly; however, my self-consciousness is debilitating.

As she’s looking at the trailer, and becoming completely enchanted in the potentiality of the story, she asks, “Why is his skin so soggy?”

Pans-Labyrinth-movie-01

Soggy? What a great word.

My recommendation to her: ask her mother if it’s okay to rent it, watch it together, and enjoy the scary, sad magic. In any language.

Get Smart: CIA, FBI, ATF, USAF, and me

don-adams-maxwell--2149

By 10 AM this morning, my eyes were stinging on the car ride in, had a (hostile? thorny? confused?) audience regarding some reading instruction information, fielded students’ questions on ‘health’ (let’s just leave it at that), and the kicker:

“How do I join the army?”

(NO! I don’t want you to join the army! I want you to be safe, happy, healthy, never know war, fire, flames, or fatigues.)

Well, when you are 18, you can visit a recruiting office, and talk to them there…

“How do I join the CIA?”

Well, you need good grades for that, and a line of training…how about just join my secret ninja squad and we’ll fight zombies?

“What other things are there?”

Well, there’s the FBI, and the ATF, (explaining the acronyms), all kinds of local police, sheriff, etc. divisions, and Secret Service.

“What does ‘mercenary’ mean?”  (explanation given – soldier for hire, etc.)

(Student gets ready to leave, but needed to give some context to the discussion and to the work at hand…)

But…(student), do you know why you should do this assignment? Do you know how much analyzing of characters goes into FBI/CIA work? They are constantly analyzing human motivations, profiles, and personalities. This work is directly related to what you’re interested in…that’s right… LANGUAGE ARTS RULES!

Again, I am reminded it’s not up to me to dissuade or persuade per se, but to help them make the connections. If this student is on this path, I do know I want the best and brightest out there protecting us.

But I’m still holding out for zombie-fighting ninjas.

Writers' Wednesday: Wish I had written that…

Because heaven knows I need more challenges, every Wednesday I plan on posting a passage, quote, etc., that causes me writer’s admiration/jealousy. Trying to think of an acronym, but I’m out of ideas right now. WEAK? Writer’s Envy/Admiration Kills? WIHWT – Wish I Had Written That, or IWNBAGW (Winnabego?) I Will Never Be  a Great Writer, or INGOKMHWLM? (If Neil Gaiman only knew me he would love me?) but my favorite: WWJID? (What would John Irving Do?)

Okay: Sorry.

My WIHWT for today, from Holly Black’s Ironside:

“…an ice-covered lake stretching out from a bank just beyond the lip of the road. Mist shrouded the center of the lake from view. Dead trees rose from the water, as though there had once been a forest where the lake now stood. A forest of drowned trees. The fading light turned the trunks to gold.”

Haunting.