Get Smart: CIA, FBI, ATF, USAF, and me


By 10 AM this morning, my eyes were stinging on the car ride in, had a (hostile? thorny? confused?) audience regarding some reading instruction information, fielded students’ questions on ‘health’ (let’s just leave it at that), and the kicker:

“How do I join the army?”

(NO! I don’t want you to join the army! I want you to be safe, happy, healthy, never know war, fire, flames, or fatigues.)

Well, when you are 18, you can visit a recruiting office, and talk to them there…

“How do I join the CIA?”

Well, you need good grades for that, and a line of training…how about just join my secret ninja squad and we’ll fight zombies?

“What other things are there?”

Well, there’s the FBI, and the ATF, (explaining the acronyms), all kinds of local police, sheriff, etc. divisions, and Secret Service.

“What does ‘mercenary’ mean?”  (explanation given – soldier for hire, etc.)

(Student gets ready to leave, but needed to give some context to the discussion and to the work at hand…)

But…(student), do you know why you should do this assignment? Do you know how much analyzing of characters goes into FBI/CIA work? They are constantly analyzing human motivations, profiles, and personalities. This work is directly related to what you’re interested in…that’s right… LANGUAGE ARTS RULES!

Again, I am reminded it’s not up to me to dissuade or persuade per se, but to help them make the connections. If this student is on this path, I do know I want the best and brightest out there protecting us.

But I’m still holding out for zombie-fighting ninjas.