Category: Uncategorized

defaced

Some painful subjects in this post.

I have no instructions for how to do this.

How to help.

What to teach.

How to go forward.

I am Cassandra: I warn and am shunned because it’s too dangerous and toxic.

https://atomic-temporary-127056043.wpcomstaging.com/2017/10/10/boys-to-men-at-least-thats-the-plan/
I didn’t go nearly far enough.
https://www.scarymommy.com/how-white-supremacy-comes-your-neighborhood/
https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

But here’s the glaring issue with this: it would seem a collective, outspoken, and dangerous group of white parents openly encourage this with their children.

Kyle’s mom drove him there. Kyle’s mom cried her white lady tears. Kyle is the problem, yes, but the bigger issue is the white parents. Fathers who fly big, hate flags on their trucks, bumper stickers with call our Vice President a misogynist slur, continued, flagrant messaging of violence polluting the blue suburban skies with smoke and fire of hate.

That one I did not see coming, and feel ashamed and angry. But how did I miss this? They were right in front of me. Many of my thoughts these past few weeks are how and why I do not fit in with the “culture” of teaching right now. It’s taken me by surprise, too. I’ve spent my whole life navigating new schools, friendships, relationships, colloquialisms, customs, and the unwritten rules of hierarchies, and one missing chunk of my life schooling was how to deal with white women.

For example, years ago a white middle school boy kept showing pictures of Hitler to his Black classmates. He also had a sexualized train (choo-choo train) image on his desktop. The WW admin dismissed it as “just a train.” He did have a conversation with me about the Hitler photos. No consequences, though. He said his uncles told him all about Hitler, etc. Now here I am, a teacher he trusts, and I have no resources except my own guidance to help him.

But there are thousands of him out there, and white parents are growing increasingly more comfortable and empowered to support white supremacy.

Jump to the present day. Just taking stock on what I can do and consider; I keep reading, practicing, and bringing resources that are offered with love and gratitude. The gifts of knowledge from educators are bountiful. I am going to allow myself to rage at the slow progress of others. Just a bit. Because as Dr. José Medina reminds me, we’re all hot messes. And keep working.

I am resigned to never fully understanding the pioneer woman culture (this is an archetype I dreamed up and would like to explore further, so be patient with me). Oh, I might understand it, but will never accept it. The Pioneer Woman is Kyle’s mother. She’s the wife of the sports anchor. She’s the admin who won’t let me discuss the Mask You Live In*. She’s the PTA president who’s only present during the one year her white child is in the building. She’s everywhere.

But so am I.

Not sure how to close this post. There is no completion, really. Just promise me — we’ll be here together.

Resources:

https://educationpost.org/for-white-teachers-teaching-white-boys-in-the-suburbs/
PS I tried to get an admin to use the Mask You Live In and it was promptly dismissed (see Pioneer Woman)*

https://www.facinghistory.org/

https://www.facinghistory.org/educator-resources/current-events/what-does-it-mean-live-social-media

Home

https://disrupttexts.org/

journalism 101

 

troll

Read “Troll” by Shane Koyczan on Genius

Once upon a time,
You and all your kind lived underneath bridges,
Had ridges for ribs that dropped off into empty chests as if your Hearts were all stolen treasures,
As if an excavation crew were hired to dig up and remove the part Of you that let you feel.
And while the world above you invented the wheel, you stayed put,
Knowing it would one day need to roll over top of you to get to Where it’s going.
You had an endlessly flowing supply line of food.
You began to brood over humanity and made meals of our hope,
As if crushing our spirits would make your mirrors cast better Reflections than the ones they gave,
As if the only way you could save yourselves was to make the world Ugly so no one would notice you hiding in it.
You learned to knit pain into a kind of camouflage,
Treated hope like a mirage that you could use to lure in your next meal.
You lived off of our fears, as if you could taste what we feel.
And every night, as the moon read bedtime stories to sunlight.
You took darkness as an invite to head out into the world,
You curled your hands into wrecking balls, your breath became Squalls, you made rocks rumble, you made land shiver
You made boys and girls pray that someone would deliver them From you
We told them you aren’t real.
Then one day, the world changed, but you all stayed the same.
Just migrated from living underneath bridges to living underneath Information super-highways.
Days and nights became meaningless, each already deepened Chest became an abyss that no one would ever find the bottom of.
Concepts like love fell into your gravity, we turned ourselves into Live preservers, hoping to save as many as we could,
But the fathers who stood guarding closet doors and the mothers Who secured the floors underneath beds,
All shook their heads not knowing how to deal with you.
You, who crept into our lives with tongues like knives stabbing your Words into our skin.
You began to begin uploading yourselves into our homes you had Computer screens for eyes, and software for bones.
You turned your hate into stones and hurled them at beauty,
As if you couldn’t bear to see anything other than ugly, anything Different.
You had fingernails like flint, and scraped them along decency hoping we would be the ones to all catch fire.
You all had smiles like one-way barbed wire not meant to keep us Out,
Meant to keep us in
Voice like a firing pin, you spoke in explosions
It isn’t cute. It isn’t funny.
You’ve talked strangers into death, and laughed.
And as each family learns to graft skin over the wounds you gave them, you hem yourselves into the scar.
You have coaxed the sober back into bars,
Handed out cigars at memorials,
Offered nooses, cliffs, and pills to those who unfortunately found You before they found help.
You have praised suffering,
Waltzed in between tragedies,
Gracefully dipping misery as if we would somehow be impressed With the dexterity of your animosity.
You have cheered on rape, dashed through police tape as if it were The finish line in a race of who can be awful first.
Even now,
You somehow see this as an invitation to turn your keyboards into Catapults,
Wondering which of you can be the first to hate this best.
Your loathing, already dressed in riot gear,
Ready to incite rage,
As if each message board is a stage,
Where you recite hostility,
Turning freedom of speech into freedom of cruelty.
We are stuck with you, the same way you are stuck with you.
Your mind is glue, and it keeps malice fastened there like cheap Wallpaper.
We were once upon a time told that none of you exist, we Dismissed you as make believe or myth.
Now armed only with resolve, we can no longer afford to tell Ourselves that you aren’t real.
We will not let you make your dinners out of the things we feel.

Troll by Shane Koyczan

Okay, so how is it “really” going?

Well.

Not great.

Collecting every positive quote about independence, strength, courage to be myself, know I’m who I say I am, yadda yadda yadda, but seriously, I sense a profound shift in my relationship connections with others of my species. I wonder…is this trauma?

And I’m thinking the only remedy is some kind of further homeopathic response: fight this isolation with further isolation, that somehow by allowing myself time and space to forcibly evict some of the harmful thoughts and events.

Just a garbage post to remind myself I can do better, it will be better, and it’s going to be okay.

Ring Light

There were more than a few times when I told students that I was not a television, video, or YouTube star, I was a human, talking in real time, and to actively listen and practice solid metacognitive thinking, having a dialogue/exchange is one of the ways we learn from each other. Face to face. In person.

Well.

I joked with my students (we started school on September 9) that now I am a YouTube star. One student said WHAT IF YOU DID MRS. LOVE?! What if I did indeed. My chubby face, grandma-wave-bye-bye-arms, and extremely warm workspace (yes, that’s the shed payment on my bar so I don’t forget) is not the makings of movie and screen magic. I gave them the metaphor it’s like they’re on Jupiter, I’m on Mars, and I’m their teacher in space. That analogy seemed to help frame our current situation.

But I am lucky. And I wish “luck” had nothing to do with it. My district and several neighboring ones are working remotely. Reading about the lengths teachers and parents are going to around the country, many schools opening to face to face instruction, closing right back up again, etc. I’m seeing tweets about being “allowed” to wear scrubs to school (!!!!!) and which ones don’t get wrinkly. My pitch for my novel: the future is a hybrid of schools/hospitals where the sick and dying are cared for by women in scrubs providing rotating read-alouds. Forever. The End.

Yes, teachers are asking for scrubs recommendations. And wondering about classroom management so kids keep their masks on. I can’t even get a Ford Dealership service manager to keep his mask on, what makes us think we can expect our colleagues and students to do so?

The big things: the skies are thick with smoke, hazy and orange, visibility and air quality down to nothing, somewhere in an orange man is plotting his return by lies, cheating, and stealing with complicit minions, fires are burning, COVID keeps killing, and there is not a thing I can do about it. Oh, and white supremacists continue to spew their toxic, hateful, racist, immature garbage for their trolls. And get published by Education Week.

The little things: my students did log on this week, by and large. I kept the cognitive load low. I helped a student with her science homework. I helped one student work out a flexible schedule so he could work 40 hours a week and still go to school (I know this doesn’t sound like “help” but I will do whatever I can to help this young man graduate and support his family.) We had great conversations in drawing class, and we now have a mermaid skeleton naming contest for next week.

I’m going to keep focusing on the little things. They are large in my heart.

P.S. This is hard.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2020/09/12/online-school-covid-education-gap-zoom-video-chat-column/3471704001/

the case for historical fiction

John Oliver’s recent episode about history in the United States summed up what many of us have been thinking, saying, and advocating for for a long time. (Language warning. It is HBO, after all.)

We teachers must do a much better job at making sure our ELA, History, Science, Math and electives reflect and provide more than dates and events, and especially the racism of omission. Some teachers don’t know where to start with this process, so I’ll offer a few suggestions and resources, and overall, this is a case made for adding accurate and representational historical fiction to your readings.

Resources

Jennifer Binis is an educational historian, and shared this thread on Twitter. First and foremost: shape your questions around bigger thinking:

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

The Case for Historical Fiction

I love fiction. And I love history. Historical fiction is my Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup of literature. The best historical fiction blends a perfect balance between my background knowledge, my curiosity, and willingness to research, and learning something new. Historical Fictions novels are my portable time machines, where I get to live a life set in reality, time, and setting. I learn so much from great historical fiction, and its pairing with history would truly help deepen contextual and important learning.

Readings – Historical Fiction/Fantasy

Some historical fiction novels are deeply problematic. However, they can be used as mentor texts of what not to do. Many of us don’t have time in the school day to do this, but just be aware: if you can steer away from teaching the problematic ones, please do so. There are so many other solid choices out there that don’t uphold white supremacy or colonization. Here are a few books I recommend, and am continuing my search. Please recommend historical fiction novels that involve US History.

Dread Nation by Jill Ireland: Dread Nation is NOT historical fiction, but I’m adding it here as an example of historical fiction mixed with fantasy/horror.

The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead – this is also not exactly historical fiction, but a mixture of magical realism.

The Nickel Boys by Colson Whitehead: I am hoping to teach this whole class next year if I get permission, or add it to independent study if I don’t.

A Soldier’s Heart by Gary Paulson; this short novel touches on one soldier’s story and battle fatigue.

The Astonishing Tale of Octavian Nothing by MT Anderson: this novel was life-changing for me. The second novel is equally important.

Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi: a story of two sisters and their paths through enslavement.

The Seeds of America Trilogy: Chains; Forge; Ashes by Laurie Halse Anderson

Weedflower by Cynthia Kadohata

The Last Town on Earth by Thomas Mullen (very apropos to our times)

Fever: 1793 by Laurie Halse Anderson

Nonfiction Books

An Indigenous People’s History of the United States for Young People by Jean Mendoza, Debbie Reese, and Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz

An African American and Latinx History of the United States (REVISIONING HISTORY) by Paul Ortiz

Nonfiction Resources

#1619 Project

Zinn Education Project

Teaching Tolerance

Facing History