Category: Month of May: Mothers

Month of May Mothers: Project

After a few years of teaching middle school, I recognize the fact that by the time children are in 6,7, 8th grades, the Mother’s Day or Father’s Day project has lost its sheen. I usually don’t do a Mother’s Day project per se, but this year, the planning just fell right, because next week we’re starting state test “boot camp” as I like to call it (yes, they think it’s engaging). More on the state test later. Don’t start posting those comments yet.

Anyway, yesterday just seemed like a good day. I showed them the 1980s Mr. T homage to his mother, and they sat there, almost like hypnotized chickens, watching the spectacle and pageantry that were the 80s. Tube socks? Camo jean cut-offs? Mom jeans? Big hair? All that and more.

Next was my brief explanation that, I realize that by this time the woman who brought them physically into the world may not be a part of their lives anymore. Some have passed away, some have made other decisions. But please, consider some woman in your life that means a lot to you; an auntie, a grandmother, big sister, cousin, stepmother, etc. I told them I had one student who had a neighbor who really helped him and watched over him, and he wrote her a poem/note . They could use any of the materials in my room, (although I felt a little guilty because I had taken the “good stuff” home because of flood worries).

Here’s what happened: Many wrote poems, printed them out, and decorated. Many girls complained of recent fights with their mothers. I told them remember, you only have one mother, and she only has one of you, so try to make peace. (Oh, heaven help us, the mother/daughter relationship is a complicated one, to be sure.) Many wrote to another significant female in their lives, and some used the time to be their usual selves, whatever their usual is. One girl even chose to ditch her previous classes and sit on the bathroom floor with another; I’m sure that’s not the ‘gift’ her mother had in mind when she got the call from the administration’s office. (I can think of one or two of those type of “gifts” I gave my own mom when I was an adolescent.)

To help get one young gentleman started, we developed these questions, and used them throughout the day. You may want to ask them, too, if you’re writing your mom, big sister, auntie, cousin, grandmother:

What makes this woman laugh?

What makes her cry?

When is she disappointed in you?

When is she proud of you?

What does she do to help you become an adult?

What might you think when you’re an adult about what she did for you?

What indeed?

Month of May Mothers: Mean.

mommiedear-thumbTwo days before Mother’s Day may not be the best time to talk about mean mothers. But not everyone is cracked up to be a mommy, just like not everyone is up to the job of daddy. The concept of “maternal instinct” has many examples throughout history – mothers finding amazing, adrenaline-fueled strength when saving one of their children, or that inexplicable pull a woman sometimes feels when she sees a baby or toddler to just hold it. But there are unfortunately plenty of examples when women with children do not seem to have this internalized mechanism that makes them go all “momma bear” whenever her cub is threatened. I don’t know why. When I look at teenage drama over what some consider a ‘mean mom’ though, the occasional, overly-dramatic mother/daughter fights usually exemplify this, I think sometimes they, the teenagers, really have no idea what a truly “mean mom” is all about. And, I don’t want them to know.

 Most moms love, love, love their children. Unconditionally. And even though they as adults may make some questionable life choices for themselves, they are trying their best, even though others may judge their best as not all that great. Parenting is a demanding, exhausting endeavor, with little appreciation, a lot of sleep deprivation, and spit-up.

So, even if you and your mom sometimes have the occasional disagreement, remember, she loves you. Give her a hug. Watch “Terms of Endearment” together. Life is too short to be mean.

Month of May Mothers: Big Mama.

Glowing Mother EarthToday’s post is all about Gaia. Mother Earth. Big Mama.

Hey, I’m random. Deal with it. Mother Earth should probably have been first. “Hey, mom, I know I should have called. Yeah. Sorry about that. Can I borrow a twenty? Will you wash my shirt for me?”

But though we walk all over her, make a big mess in her kitchen, and don’t pick up our toys, she always loves us. But she does have her moods. And who can blame her?

Right now, the oil that’s gushing into the Gulf of Mexico is slated to be one of the worst man-made disasters of all time: http://abcnews.go.com/WN/Eco/bp-oil-spill-national-significance-obama-administration/story?id=10509844

It’s funny and cute when Bart Simpson, infamous scamp and momma’s boy, consistently and creatively leaves a wake of destruction wherever he goes, and his mother dutifully cleans up after him. It’s not cute when we humans keep having the same discussion time and again about our dependence on fossil fuels, and then shake our heads when we are sent to the store to buy Dawn dish-washing soap to clean up the wildlife after major oil spills.

Oil and water don’t mix. Everyone knows this.

And yet, we need to use our country’s natural resources to their full extent (don’t we?).

Yesterday, on KUOW, there was a gentleman from the University of Delaware (GO BLUE HENS!) who was speaking about a rational solution for wind farming. The problem, it seems, with wind farming is when there’s no wind, there’s no power. He proposed a sharing of power among the coast lines and wind farm lines. Makes sense.

Which is probably why it won’t happen.

Because we, Mother Earth’s children, have a lot of sibling rivalry. There are the rich, bully brothers, who are tired of lending you money at 30% interest plus your Jello pudding cup, and will give you two for flinching. There are the bum uncles, who mooch at every family gathering. And don’t forget the snotty big sisters, who know it all, and are shrill and bulimic. But she loves us all.

And as we continue to get it all sorted out, she’s provided us with all the guidance and a steady moral compass: Play nice, kids. And don’t make me pull over this car. (And she will!)

For more information about how science is tryng to save the world, again, thank you very much, go to this link:

http://www.upi.com/Science_News/2010/04/08/Grid-proposed-for-offshore-wind-turbines/UPI-95871270740262/

Postscript: Before there was the “Father” most cultures had a mother to worship. Belief structures change, but one thing that doesn’t – this is our only little rock of air, soil, water, and fire. Take it easy, will ya?

Month of May Mothers: Pocahontas' son

pocahontas_engravedThe inspiration for this month’s theme of mothers isn’t solely about the month of May and Mother’s Day, but I have no shame in riding on May’s petticoat hem. The inspiration came from watching the first episode of America: The Story of Us from the History Channel. I noticed the absence of women mentioned in the account. Now, we all know not everyone can get a shout-out from the stage of history; there are time limits to retelling the story as there are time limits in the history in the making itself. So, in our retelling of history, there’s a lot of editing.

What does it mean to be a mother? The myth of “stay at home” mothers has always kind of bothered me. I was a “stay at home” mom for awhile, meaning, I didn’t work for a salaried job, inside or outside of my home. I freelanced a bit, and certainly worked hard to take of my small children, but that gig didn’t last as long as I would have liked. And, not all women are “moms” to children born from their bodies. I’m going to take this month to explore all kinds of mothers – real, historical, infamous, famous, ordinary, personified, and mythic. I want to explore these roles, and see where it takes me. And I’m the editor this time.

One early American history mom is Pocahontas. What promise of her union with the Englishman John Rolfe – an “interracial” marriage which would have been considered verboten in many societies, now and previously. The promise was not realized. Though they had one son, Thomas, who went on to live a gentleman’s life, the Native and Western cultures did not solve their conflicts based on one union of husband and wife.

Pocahontas is in my top-twenty historical figures I would love to interview. What do you think she would have imagined happening to our country? What would she have wished for?

Heritage of Pocahontas:

The death of Pocahontas and the subsequent death of her father led to deteriorating relations between the colonists and the natives.

Thomas, son of Pocahontas and John Rolfe, stayed in England when his father returned to Virginia, first in the care of Sir Lewis Stuckley and then John’s younger brother Henry. John Rolfe died in 1622 (we don’t know under what conditions) and Thomas returned to Virginia in 1635 at twenty. He was left the plantation of his father, and also thousands of acres left him by his grandfather, Powhatan. Thomas Rolfe apparently met once in 1641 with his uncle Opechancanough, upon petition to the Virginia governor. Thomas Rolfe married a Virginia wife, Jane Poythress, and became a tobacco planter, living as an Englishman.

Pocahontas’ many well-connected descendents through Thomas include Edith Wilson, wife of President Woodrow Wilson, and Thomas Mann Randolph, jr., husband of Martha Washington Jefferson who was the daughter of Thomas Jefferson and his wife Martha Wayles Skelton Jefferson.

For information and references:

http://womenshistory.about.com/od/pocahontas/p/pocahontas.htm

http://www.preservationvirginia.org/rediscovery/page.php?page_id=26

http://www.virtualjamestown.org/Pocahontas.html