Mighty Myth Month: This is pretty grim.

Godfather Death

Before the Coen Brothers, before the Smothers Brothers, and LONG before the Jonas Brothers, there were the BROTHERS GRIMM – Jacob and Wilhem.

 Once upon a time, there were two brothers, Jacob and Wilhelm. They collected folktales and fairy tales as one might collect a bushel of berries. Many of us are quite familiar with the European tales from Germany, France, and other countries about girls with long hair, little evil sprites with identity issues, and the rule of “3,” “7,” and “12.” These fairy tales are as ubiquitous as your neighborhood wolf stalking a goody-basket laden girl. And most of us know these tales are darker, more visceral than the Disney-ized versions many of us grew up with: Cinderella’s sisters cut off parts of their feet to try to fool the prince (who is tricked until a talking tree clues him in), and Rapunzel is freely given up by her parents for stealing some lettuce. They never protest, but accept the child they longed for will be handed over for adoption to the witch next door, whose only advantage was having a better vegetable garden.

But, one thing I learned by reading this annotated version was how deeply racist some of these tales are. They were more than cautionary; they were examples of when modeling even the simplest acts (butchering a pig) can be a demonstration for murder.

The stories are timeless in their creepiness, horror, and forbidding. “Grimm” is indeed an apt name. Don’t go out in the woods alone, dear children. The wolf is waiting.

 A collection of the Grimm Brothers’ tales:

http://www.grimmstories.com/en/grimm_fairy-tales/index

Grimms Brothers on National Geographic: http://www.nationalgeographic.com/grimm/article.html

Mighty Myth Month: Round table pizza.

Arthur_Sword_and_Stone

Oh, if only it were that easy.

To know our true identities, our destinies, or our life’s purpose by simply pulling out a sword from a stone.

Any way you slice it, you can’t deny that the Arthurian legends are resoundingly entrenched in Western culture, predominately to the British Empire, which at one point, the sun never set on. (But personally, I think they’re better off not worrying about if the sun is or is not sitting on them, it frees them up to continue to model to the U.S. Parliamentary debating tactics, polish up Stonehenge, and make movies like Son of Rambow.)

Understand that there are those who have spent their lives on studying the tales/legend of King Arthur, and you only need to step in the shallow end of the Internet surf to find out what you need to know for sufficient background knowledge, and “catch” the allusions made in literature, movies, and Spongebob.

http://www.kingarthursknights.com/

http://www.earlybritishkingdoms.com/kids/arthur_life.html

http://www.historyforkids.org/learn/medieval/history/earlymiddle/arthur.htm

I would use up all my blog gigabytes if I wrote a full post on Artie and the Gang; suffice it to say this legend HAS IT ALL! It’s like a great country/western song: loyal friends, cheatin’ wives, and a quest for the Big Gulp in a ’70s Charger. Literally, the 70s. Not the 1970s. Not the 1670s. Most likely, the 570s. And did I say Big Gulp?  I meant cup. No, chalice. Holy Grail, let’s go on a Crusade!

King Arthur’s grand apotheosis (yeah, that’s right, I used one of your vocabulary words!) comes from his final battle with his greatest enemy, Mordred. Even Mordred’s name connotes some serious evil, jealousy, and bad manners. Not very cricket of him, what what!? Arthur mortally wounds Mordred, but also receives a fatal blow; after getting rid of the evidence with the help of his homie Bedivere, Arthur is laid to rest on the Isle of Avalon.

Bedivere waves bye-bye to Excalibur
Bedivere waves bye-bye to Excalibur

So, once you’ve succeeded in filling your noggin with sufficient background knowledge on the “real myth,” (wouldn’t that be an oxymoron?) then you may want to move on to these books and a movies:

Song of the Sparrowby Lisa Ann Sandell (G-PG)

Mists of Avalonby Marion Zimmer Bradley (PG13)

Monty Python’s Holy Grail (movie) (PG-13)

It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.
It’s not a question of where he grips it! It’s a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.

Carry on.